I won’t show you pictures of the Main Street Parade at Disneyland Paris because of the insanity involved. My pictures of the parade reveal people, people, and more people. If you happened to be wandering around these parts of the concrete jungle known as Disneyland Paris within 15 minutes of the parade you became instantly trapped and couldn’t go forward or back. I’ve been to sold out general admission concerts that allowed more freedom of movement.

Needless to say, most visitors to Disneyland Paris were not very happy at this point. We witnessed verbal fights between strangers (in French), and I heard someone from the UK behind me comment that this was the “Unhappiest Place on Earth” (knocking off on Disney’s propaganda that Disneyland is “The Happiest Place on Earth”).

The rides were mostly like those in Anaheim Disneyland with minor variations and several omissions. Space Mountain was cool at the outset with a “blast off” I hadn’t previously experienced, but then it was mostly painful blackness without all of the stars you experience on the ride in Southern California. Space Mountain was very jerky and had a harness that helped to cause, rather than cushion, the blows. My wife actually came out of it with her shoulder quite sore and bleeding a bit.

The one fun roller coaster was Big Thunder Mountain Railroad which was very smooth and long. As you can see from the above picture (that’s me in the middle right with my hat on backwards), I whooped it up to try and make this day have some silver linings.

The photo is one I took of the monitor after the ride. Prices for a picture of yourself started at 15 Euro (or over $24).

I mentioned the food being bad at Disneyland Paris in yesterday’s blog entry. I’ll offer one example of what a joke it was. My son ordered “nachos” and we envisioned something like what you see in the picture to the right. The price was high enough to warrant something like your typical nachos with cheese, etc. that one expects in the states. But what did we actually get? 6, that’s right SIX, nacho flavored Doritos. Can you believe that ordering nachos in a restaurant would result in Doritos without any toppings–not even cheese? Neither could I.

While generally lacking the charm and character of a place like Tivoli, which we visited in Copenhagen, and with the shortest lines being longer than Tivoli’s longest queues, Disneyland Paris does get somewhat better after the sun begins to drop.

The Mad Hatter’s Tea Cups spin wildly under an array of Chinese lanterns which are kind of neat once lit in the evening.

Our last ride of the day was It’s a Small World, which has the same soundtrack as that at Southern California Disneyland but looks more recent in construction. The same goes for Pirates of the Caribbean and Phantom Manor.

The above photograph is of the Japanese part of It’s a Small World.

In summary, avoid Disneyland Paris at all costs. It doesn’t matter if your kids are of the right age or if you want to say you’ve been there. The odds are pretty good that your money can be spent on something else that won’t cause misery for much of a day. You couldn’t pay me to go back to the place.

My kids may say otherwise, but they are under the influence of the Dickens’ quote which kicked off yesterday’s blog entry.

Posted on August 27th, 2008 under Paris. Tags: amusement parks, disneyland paris, Paris, pictures. Comments: None

“One always begins to forgive a place as soon as it’s left behind.” — Charles Dickens

Our second to last day in Paris we decided to go to the place formerly known as Euro Disney–Disneyland Paris. I take that back. We didn’t decide to go; I didn’t want to go. I knew it would be a day from hell. But my veto was overridden 3 votes to 1, and there was nothing I could do but blow nearly US$500 to stand in lines all day (and eat horrible food).

The trip to Disneyland Paris didn’t get off to a great start. When we got to the RER station we found the ticket machine wouldn’t accept bills or our credit cards. Since Disneyland Paris isn’t in Paris, the RER train you take to get there is not exactly cheap with a fare of over US$10 a person each way. The only way someone without a local credit card can buy a ticket is to use coins. Who carries around $40 in coins to ride a train?

We wanted to get there before it opened at 10 to avoid the lines (yeah right) but soon realized that wasn’t going to happen when we had to find someone who could provide so much change. Not many businesses are open in Paris at 9 in the morning, and the bitter, French shopkeepers who were open were not willing to provide us with change without us buying their overpriced wares.

Eventually we found a change machine in the post office which ever so reluctantly provided the needed handfuls of coins. The train was packed so we had to stand for most of the 40 minute+ journey.

Once we were at the “park” we had to stand in four lines. The first, pictured above, was for security. The second was for tickets. The third was to get in. The fourth was for our first ride. From the time in which we arrived at the train station until we got on our first ride four and one half hours had elapsed. 99% of that time was spent standing and waiting. Now do you see why I wasn’t looking forward to my veto being overridden?

We have been through this before, at Universal Studios Japan in Osaka, and I vow (once again) to never let it happen again. If my kids want to go to Tokyo Disneyland, next year, they will be going without me.

In our first ride line (which took an hour even though it wasn’t a fast pass type of ride) we met a really nice man from Poland. He heard us speaking in English and asked, “Are you from the USA?” When we responded in the affirmative, he asked why someone from the USA would go to Disneyland Paris. I agreed with him–no one from the states (or anywhere else for that matter) should go to Disneyland Paris. The discussion with him was the most enjoyable part of the day. It turns out he is an excommunicated, former Catholic Priest. He was excommunicated for wanting a family and was visiting Disneyland Paris with his son. It’s not every day that an excommunicated Catholic and an excommunicated Mormon like myself meet up in a line in Paris Disneyland.

As you can see from the above photo, Disneyland Paris is very similar to Disneyland in Anaheim, California. There are a few minor differences. One major difference is that you can smoke in Disneyland Paris, and the French, like the Danes, love their cigarettes. Few things in life are worse than spending a day in queues at Disneyland. Spending a day in lines with people blowing smoke in your face is one of them.

But the biggest disappointment of all (not really) is that there is no Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride in Disneyland Paris. There is a restaurant called “Toad Hall” though.

Posted on August 26th, 2008 under Paris. Tags: amusement parks, disneyland paris, Paris, pictures. Comments: None

As mentioned in yesterday’s entry, there is more to see and do than Bellevue Beach if you get off at Klampenborg Station. If you head west from the station you will soon find yourself in a forest. This area is known as Dyrehaven or The Deer Park in English. There are supposed to be thousands of deer living in these forests but we didn’t see any. That’s OK, though, as we see plenty of deer back home.

After a nice walk you’ll find yourself at Bakken, the world’s oldest amusement park. There is a history of the park display, but it was all in Danish so I didn’t get all the details. I think I read that in the early days there weren’t any rides, per se. Rather there were jugglers and other circus-type acts. Most of the rides didn’t seem to be more than a decade or two old, but some of them were quite old and very unique.

On one ride you have to manually pedal a swan around a track. In another you are in a Viking Ship loaded with water cannons that actually work. Not only are the other riders firing on you but the ride itself will hose you down good. No one seemed to make it off of that ride anywhere near dry.

The park is free to get in, but the all-day ride ticket sets you back as much as Tivoli. Food seemed to be cheaper. Bakken was more crowded than Tivoli–maybe just because it isn’t as spread out (not that Tivoli is spread out compared to amusement and theme parks in the U.S.).

On our way back to the train station we road in a horse-drawn carriage.

Posted on August 4th, 2008 under Denmark. Tags: amusement parks, copenhagen, living in copenhagen, pictures, tivoli. Comments: None

First off, I must admit to no longer being a big fan of amusement parks. I used to love them as a kid, but as an adult the rides seldom do much for me. Lines, crowds, and steep prices do nothing to make matters better.

Tivoli Gardens was much better than most of my amusement park experiences of the past couple of decades. It had something of a charm that is lacking in most others. The lines were surprisingly short. We never waited more than 5 minutes for a ride. We got there right when the park opened and went on every ride by about 4 p.m. I didn’t think we’d get on everything before midnight so the short lines were a big shock. The kids went on most rides three or more times.

It is said that Walt Disney was inspired to create Disneyland when visiting Tivoli. Personally, I like Tivoli better. Everything is reasonably close together, there are no lines, and old trees and gardens throughout give a much less synthetic feel to the place.

Another thing that is different when compared to American amusement parks is the lack of warnings and instructions. You aren’t told to “please remain seated…” fifty million times throughout the day and warning labels aren’t affixed to every thing in sight. The ancient fun house at Tivoli is practically a death trap, but no one seems to care. I like that.

Be careful when eating or paying for things at Tivoli. We asked for tap water with our meal. At other places we had eaten at in Copenhagen there was no charge for non-bottled water. We were surprised when our bill included a charge for the water. More than US$12 is what we paid for four glasses of water out of the tap! We were warned that if we used a credit card at our meal we would be charged an additional 5.75%. They didn’t warn us at the gate, and we were charged 3.75% for using a card to pay for admission. Our card company is going to charge another 2%.

To me the most interesting ride was the Star Flyer (although The Odin Express had the best name for a ride). I think the kids liked the Rutschebanen Roller Coaster which is almost 100 years old and includes a brake person on the ride with you. The Star Flyer is similar to many of the merry-go-round swing rides found at fairs and amusement parks in the U.S. The big difference is that instead of going 20 or 30 feet in the air, you go over 260 feet in the air. Not only does this make for a strange sensation, but you have the most incredible 360 degree view of Copenhagen imaginable. This ride is really fantastic and one of a kind.  

Posted on July 7th, 2008 under Denmark. Tags: amusement parks, copenhagen, living in copenhagen, pictures, tivoli. Comments: None